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Crypto Users Spill Their Deepest Secrets – From Triumphant to Tragic

3 mins
Updated by Geraint Price
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In Brief

  • A new Crypto Twitter account is asking users to share their secret crypto stories.
  • The confessions run the full range of human emotions from triumph to tragedy.
  • Can you relate to these Coinfessions?
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A Crypto Twitter account is asking users to anonymously share their secret stories of experiences within the crypto sphere. 

The Coinfessions Twitter account only began this month but has already gathered a wide variety of “true life” crypto stories that range from the triumphant to the tragic, to the hilarious, and, ultimately, ridiculous.

The project is the brainchild of the non-fungible token art project “Visualise Alpha,” which has promoted the endeavor with a simple pitch – that it is time for users to share “your secret crypto story you’ve never told anyone.”

Below are a few carefully selected Coinfessions from the archive.

The triumphant

These rags to riches stories serve as a reminder that life isn’t perfect, even at the top.

The secret millionaire: “I come from a not-so-rich family, raised by a single mother. I have a normal job in the city, and many of my friends and relatives look down and make fun of me every time I go back to my hometown because I ride an old bike and use an old shitty $200 phone that I bought five years ago. I never tell anybody that I’m a millionaire thanks to crypto.”

The demotivated anesthesiologist: “I’ll be starting residency soon as an anesthesiologist in training. Today, I’m officially earning more in ETH rewards than I would as a full-time attending anesthesiologist. I’m very grateful but it makes it kind of hard to tolerate the 80-hour workweeks when I know I can just quit whenever. Who knew being a degenerate and gambling my school loans on ETH in 2020 would set me up for life?”

The hilarious

In crypto, confusion and weirdness abound, but at least we can laugh about it.

The confused rock fan: “For a long time I thought Cobie was Kurt Cobain’s son.”

What the hell is GCR anyway?: “I have literally stopped mid-sex multiple times to open a GCR tweet notification.”

In it for the tech: “I’ve been rekt so many times by being in it for the tech.”

The tragic

The tragic side of crypto is never too far away from us. Like the Greek myth of Icarus, these confessions remind us to never fly too close to the sun.

The hack victim: “Lost my life savings in a protocol hack. It set my life back by at least a decade or two. Felt physically sick to the gut, never wish that on anyone.”

The honest degenerate: “Someone offered me a 40 ETH instead of a 4 ETH loan on NFT-fi. Could have taken the loan, not pay back and make 33 ETH win. I declined and texted the guy on Discord instead.”

The helpful tipster: “I shilled Woo to my mate and it dumped the day after he bought. He’s over 50% down.”

The ridiculous

Now, these are just silly.

The surprisingly comfortable trading experience: “A couple of years ago I got into a bad trading slump and couldn’t figure out how to break out of it I tried watching YT vids, reading trading books etc etc but nothing was working. Unrelated, one day I decided to try on my ex gfs panties out of boredom. That day I had my best trading day ever. From then on I exclusively wear women’s underwear when trading.”

That “I am a Hex holder” guy: “I am a Hex holder.”

Have you got a Coinfession of your own? Perhaps now is the time to unburden yourself.

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Robert D Knight
Robert D Knight is a journalist and copywriter who has specialized in crypto for over four years. His varied experience includes freelancing, in-project contracts, agency work, and PR, giving him a holistic view of the blockchain industry.
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